The Greatest Tragedy

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The greatest tragedy is not death but life without purpose.

When I woke up this morning, I could feel a familiar restlessness inside of me.  I thought to myself, why am I feeling agitated.  I knew exactly why.  It’s Monday morning and its the beginning of a new week.  A week full of possibilities and what will I accomplish thoughts?  It’s the moment in my week where I feel the most pressure to succeed at something in the next 5 days.  I feel pressure to be in action towards my dreams, and I have so many of them.  I ask myself, what are you doing today that will move you closer to your goals?  But instead of feeling excited, I feel anxious.  So I stop myself.  I am a goal oriented person and if I am not careful, I feel like a failure when I am not accomplishing something.  So this morning, I will say it to myself again, ‘Sheila, you are valuable.  You are successful. You have purpose for your life.  You are talented.  You matter in this world.  You are loved’.  Now is the time for my self pep talk.

Sheila, what are you living for?  And I answer myself, ‘Love’.  And who loves everything about you? ‘My Creator’.  So I breathe in God’s LOVE, and I blow out agitation.  I like to visualize it…God is smiling at me, Jesus is smiling at me, and the Holy Spirit is filling me up with his warm bright light.  I breathe in and imagine the Holy Spirit filling up my whole body from my the top of my head to the tips of my toes.  And I breathe out fear, restlessness, anxiety and hopelessness.  Ahhh.  I am light. I am loved. I am enough.  I repeat this again.  This is my weekly inventory moment, and I am reminding myself of my purpose.  Be still and know that God is God.  I am his beautiful daughter.  I am love.  My purpose is to share love.  God smiles when he looks at me, and I smile back.  Ahhh, I start to feel peace.

Then I ask myself again, what is your purpose and what will you do today with God?  What do you really value in this world.  People.  I value people and all living creatures.  So this morning, I am present in the moment as I make my kids their breakfast and lunch.  I laugh and smile and feel the joy in the simple things.  I walk my puppy and kids to school drop off and say goodbye for another day.  I love walking and talking to God as I finish my morning walk with my puppy by the ocean.  So blessed. So lucky. So peaceful.  When I get home, I decide to start cooking Shepherds pie for my son Zack so that it is ready for daddy to bake at dinnertime.  I know that I work as an RN at 3:15pm today, so I won’t see my kids again except briefly at school pick up.  So for now, I am happy as I sing my heart out to Christian music and cook with love.  I am a mom, and I love my family.

It’s the simple things that matter.  My greatest joy is sharing my life and strategies for dealing with challenges.   My passion is that each unique person would show up in the world as the best version of themselves.  Ready to live their life, their talents, their dreams, their roles with joy, peace and energy.  The key to my happiness is not confusing anxiety with motivation.  It’s being peaceful in daily action and patient for the end results.  It’s being thankful and focusing on what I get to do.  So today, I am oh so grateful that I have amazing people to share my life with.  That I have amazing family, friends, community, and neighbours.  I am surrounded by incredible creation and I love it.  I am grateful for the challenges that are building character in me.  I love change and adventure, it’s learning to keep it simple that is my current challenge.  I feel my soul relax and fill up with joy.  I remind myself, what you focus on grows, what you focus on seems real, and what you focus on you ultimately become.  So for today, I am a mom, I am a sister, I am a wife, I am a friend, I am part of a business community and I am an RN.  Today, I will make the most of my life and encourage others who are facing the same feelings on a simple Monday morning.

I am off to school pick up, to share a few moments with my kids before I race off to work for the evening.  I am valuable. I am useful. I am moving towards my goals.  Now to remember this all week long.

 

 

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